20 July 2013

Can she be what she want?

She wake up from her sleep. Guessing what time is it, is she waaay sleep too long !? Since she just heard a bird chuckles outside her room

She's keep looking for her phone that used to lay close to her when she asleep just in case to figure out what Time is it, but she found it no where, then she remember that her phone run out the battery once she laid on her coach and left it there because as usual she’s too lazy to charge this up

She looked at her watch, that was 23.53, a late night. She took a sat and started thinking how could she fall a sleep moments ago

Then she remembered

She cried last time, on her study-table, after she wrote down on her diary, telling about what burden her so bad… she felt sad over something.. she misses Allah, she felt so lost in her way, she felt so tired of regretting what happened in her life. . she thought about chance that she had lost yesterday.. she kept screwing herself. Screwing her destiny. Screwing her fool-choice. Screwing the condition. Screwing how fool was she. Fool. Fool. Fool. And never stopped repeat saying that. .

..of a thing she doesn’t sure what

Now she’s just too scare to face her future. She innocently feel shame towards anything, most time, her mom. Why didn’t she listen what she said????? 

She cursed herself. She pray endlessly not to cry again. But it came out heavier.

‘What You want me to do? How?!’ She asked.

She hopelessly can not see any light today, or some next days, she either not sure how long it will be. But she believe flame will lighted soon or late. Even if sunshine deny to shine today, there will be still tomorrow. There are plenty times ahead…

She wishes the damage will soon fixed. She hoped she could take a small steps lightly again with smile on her face.. until quickly she already arrived in somewhere her future belongs..

She wishes a day that she could make her parents proud, happy, and satisfied will eventually comes.

…either as what she want to be or as what she have to be.

…soon on its very right time

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