Starting point

All praises to Allah SWT, the highest almighty in the entire universe.

I want to share this journey, the journey of pursuing my dreams. This story is not the end of my journey, but yet a point where this all will begin insyaAllah.

From this ordinary girl who writes her dreams one by one at the end of every year, hoping her wish list one day will come true. Who knows? Never stop believing in His timing. Dream big, because those of your dreams will secretly bring your steps towards the goals you want to aim, far beyond your consciousness :)

Long story short, throw back to last April, there was a free language preparation course from my office and I asked permission to my chief of sub division to join. Turned out, after I signed in, if I joined the course, I should commit to register my self in a scholarship registration opening which at the end of June. So that was it, this journey started from me being trapped by that condition. 

April, May, June.. around those months, I started to do some research about what and where I should study and looked for its requirements, especially about the language requirements. Then, I went back into the scholarship requirements. I thought .. I should get the scholarship first after all, so I focused my self more into that at first. I read about what I need to prepare for the administration's selection. Also, I learn about the type of scholarship that available for me. Well, there are many types of scholarship's entries and they have different conditions and terms.

On top of that, I did that while still busy juggling between works. It has been crazy days for me. I even asked for permission to my mentor for two weeks between the course because I delegated to join an supervision activities for half of the month at outside the island.

Honestly, I was not hoping much that time considering the small amount of time that I have to prepare it the right way. But, I keep doing my best that I could. I spent my weekend to study. Every time, I went home from office, I continue to study with the rest of my energies that left. I rarely joined my friend went here and there, sometimes I felt bad for them, but they could understand and supported me after all. Sometimes, at weekend I choose to rest my mind only for doing nothing or cleaning my room and start again. Every thing was running in circle.. until the test day came. :') what a surprise, I bet Allah's help is near. My result passed the requirement. It only left two days before the registration closed. I didn't sleep that night and sent my application. I felt relieved.. At least, I've done my commitment to my office, whatever the result is. But, what another surprise, I passed all of the selection processes until the last one. And here I am today, busy applying for universities and waiting for my letter of acceptance coming in my mail. 😅🙇 Looking back into it, maybe if I am not trapped like that, I would not get anywhere after all, so I feel thankful to whatever happens. :')

During the process, I have been feeling like riding in a roller coaster. It is not easy to keep my mind positive and my motivation high all the time. Sometimes, I feel small and scare. Another time, I feel impatient and ready to fly higher. So the point is, whatever my struggle I do in this world is, I also need to do something to keep my mental steady and healthy, which is, spend time talking to my Creator.

Every time, I passed the selection phase, the more I try to let things go in His direction. Whether if I will succeed in my first time or not.  So, I don't have much burden in me. I keep asking to my own self, 'am I really ready and able to do this?' - well, the answer is in the future, no one can see what is in there. that is why I think I should just turn all of my questions into prayer and do my best to make my self a worthy one.

To all my fellow reader, please wish me tons of luck in years ahead.

P.S I always pray you the same.

and happy new year to all of us.

always, love, 

R.

Their life also matter

As an auditor, I've got the opportunity to go more than just to my houses, but to see many people's lives. Though I am still new, these opportunities always teach me a new lesson and widen a new perspective in seeing this life, and successfully touch me in the part of my heart that I never knew it existed before.

it's been a common point of view that most people hate an auditor. Who likes to be disturbed with what we have done? Life should be moving forward, seeing the future. But, sometimes, the existence of auditor may force someone to look back, to think back, about what they have done, which is sometimes it is not all is a good thing. 

But after went places to places, door to door, I want to see my role from different perspective. If I have to be a good auditor, I do it because everyone who has the right to get a better quality in their life, better chances, deserve to get what they have to. In terms, of buildings, services, etc. I want to be the hand who help to make sure of that. We never know even the smallest amount of our effort or what we can give to other people may affect those people's live that we never imagined. so always be kind, be kind, be kind and integrity.

I've seen that not everyone can access a clean water to wash their body, to do the dishes. I've seen that not everyone can sleep in a good houses with good life's facilities around their environments. But they remain kind. They share whatever they have in their houses. Life is so much more than what we wear, what our occupation is, how we look like, but what is inside us that matters. I wish, if my dreams will bring more benefit to many people, will make me useful for many people, please make it easy, ya Allah. 

Don't ever forget to be grateful for your small privilege.

Thank you Allah, You've been very kind to me.  Alhamdulillah

R.

give it a try

find the right quotes to describe my latest condition, "when you focus on the good, the good gets better". all that I can say, every journey starts from a single step, so don't be hesitate to make your first move towards the things you've been aiming, dreaming, and wishing for.

"effortlessness is a myth" 

so your journey might be full of blood, tears, and failure, but don't give up, your hard work will bring you somewhere, if it's not where you wanted to be, still - it's where the best for you. just trust His promises.