Picking My Shoes.

The process to find it is like the journey to find a pair of new shoes. It goes through several windows shopping, deep conservation, collecting confidence that you'll found what you like if you keep searching, and many many disappointment if the whole searching process ends with no matching with your expectations.. 

Finding a pair of new shoes is not an easy job. Because, I have to find what really fits in me, including the size, color, model, comfort, and probably the price. It will end up hurting our feet, if it's too tight and far from comfort if it's too loose. 

There is this theory that comes in mind, when I met these shoes. Let's say, they are a perfect pair of leather shoes. They look fancy, they would probably look decent for every of my occasions. Leather shoes are well known for its durability and comfort. So I give a try and buy them at last.

Then what happened?

Those shimmering details doesn't feel as good as what I've imagined. It feels a bit uncomfortable for several early times I wear them, it takes some troublesome ways to take care of it, they may look good and suit for my appearance, but there will always that too much or too less.

Well, it works the same with relationship. It takes effort and time to finally fulfilling the expected expectation. It through so many adjustment to finally feel content or still not content in some moments. But that doesn't mean that the love you choose doesn't worth your decisions. You've counted it all, since the beginning. You know, it will make you feel good and not good at the same time, but- you still choose it instead. You finally know, that there is no perfection, maybe it looks appealing but it doesn't give you the comfort you seek, or well maybe the reverse.

I realize that, the process of finding the perfect shoes would never come to an end, because there is no such a thing as perfect, and I will keep just looking around, if I am not taking any decision to pick my most favorite pair of shoes and just give it a try. 

At last, I try to choose it and let it be my company. I want us to walk together and cherish the journey. From the happiest to the saddest. I want enjoy the rain and summer together. 

My riddle

It's a Friday night, now. Trying to enjoy my time by doing things that makes me happy, relaxing in my bed, playing some games, listening to songs, taking a bath, applying my skincare, and et cetera. Till I stuck at this song, which always been, my kind of being broken heart in a poetic way, since a long-long time ago. It was beautifully said.

Can you take a guess?

....

Over time our wires crossed

Well you changed and truth got lost

All the things I would change if we could only rewind

You were a moment in life that comes and goes

A riddle, a rhyme that no one knows

A change of a heart, a twist of fate

Couldn't fix it, it's too late

'Cause we don't, we don't need to talk about this now

Yeah we've been down that road before

That was then and this is now

The crowds in my heart they've been calling out your name

But it just don't feel the same

I guess it's over, yeah we're done

....

I remember how I used to mumble "Baby, I'm Yours" by Arctic Monkeys while thinking of you. I don't know but your existence somehow radiance that good feeling in me. You are a blessing to me, in a way I can't put into words. I thank to God that you are part of a chapter in my book.

Every time I spend with you, time feels slow down and I can take a break for whatever flood that raging in an un-normal way. Maybe you know it, or you don't, because you enjoy yourself pretending that you are not. Well cause practically, I've been trying to let you know that I am.

But those times feels like a long time ago. Now, it's time to take the serious matter, seriously. I got to admit that somehow life is getting boring and changing. But this time I really have to let go those paradoxical moments of being with you and hope it will slip away.

Maybe

This is the time,

time to let the riddle unanswered.

R.