Starting point

All praises to Allah SWT, the highest almighty in the entire universe.

I want to share this journey, the journey of pursuing my dreams. This story is not the end of my journey, but yet a point where this all will begin insyaAllah.

From this ordinary girl who writes her dreams one by one at the end of every year, hoping her wish list one day will come true. Who knows? Never stop believing in His timing. Dream big, because those of your dreams will secretly bring your steps towards the goals you want to aim, far beyond your consciousness :)

Long story short, throw back to last April, there was a free language preparation course from my office and I asked permission to my chief of sub division to join. Turned out, after I signed in, if I joined the course, I should commit to register my self in a scholarship registration opening which at the end of June. So that was it, this journey started from me being trapped by that condition. 

April, May, June.. around those months, I started to do some research about what and where I should study and looked for its requirements, especially about the language requirements. Then, I went back into the scholarship requirements. I thought .. I should get the scholarship first after all, so I focused my self more into that at first. I read about what I need to prepare for the administration's selection. Also, I learn about the type of scholarship that available for me. Well, there are many types of scholarship's entries and they have different conditions and terms.

On top of that, I did that while still busy juggling between works. It has been crazy days for me. I even asked for permission to my mentor for two weeks between the course because I delegated to join an supervision activities for half of the month at outside the island.

Honestly, I was not hoping much that time considering the small amount of time that I have to prepare it the right way. But, I keep doing my best that I could. I spent my weekend to study. Every time, I went home from office, I continue to study with the rest of my energies that left. I rarely joined my friend went here and there, sometimes I felt bad for them, but they could understand and supported me after all. Sometimes, at weekend I choose to rest my mind only for doing nothing or cleaning my room and start again. Every thing was running in circle.. until the test day came. :') what a surprise, I bet Allah's help is near. My result passed the requirement. It only left two days before the registration closed. I didn't sleep that night and sent my application. I felt relieved.. At least, I've done my commitment to my office, whatever the result is. But, what another surprise, I passed all of the selection processes until the last one. And here I am today, busy applying for universities and waiting for my letter of acceptance coming in my mail. 😅🙇 Looking back into it, maybe if I am not trapped like that, I would not get anywhere after all, so I feel thankful to whatever happens. :')

During the process, I have been feeling like riding in a roller coaster. It is not easy to keep my mind positive and my motivation high all the time. Sometimes, I feel small and scare. Another time, I feel impatient and ready to fly higher. So the point is, whatever my struggle I do in this world is, I also need to do something to keep my mental steady and healthy, which is, spend time talking to my Creator.

Every time, I passed the selection phase, the more I try to let things go in His direction. Whether if I will succeed in my first time or not.  So, I don't have much burden in me. I keep asking to my own self, 'am I really ready and able to do this?' - well, the answer is in the future, no one can see what is in there. that is why I think I should just turn all of my questions into prayer and do my best to make my self a worthy one.

To all my fellow reader, please wish me tons of luck in years ahead.

P.S I always pray you the same.

and happy new year to all of us.

always, love, 

R.