She’s here, putting her mind up above, trying not to catch it back. It’s probably better for her to stay silence for the rest of her life. No complain; nothing. There’s nothing much to say about her, no word available to describe what is she like? She’s not a mystery to solve, she’s not a box to open, and maybe she’s just her. Doing whatever she wants, whatever she thinks is right. Her favorite place is, wherever she can be herself, wherever she doesn’t have to pretend, she hates pretending! But she can’t avoid it; many times she’s forced to do it, to hold all the people that she treasured the most.
She has trouble expressing what she really feel, to anyone, she keeps it inside her for so long until she can find someone to pour it all over together, someone she trusts the most. She’s easily feel bad, sensitively touched, she feels guilty all the time even though she did nothing wrong. Many years she’s been trying to fix it, but still no solution. She keeps feeling guilty…until now. She loves helping people till she forgets to help herself. Whenever she feels like helping, sharing difficulty with people, she finds it easy and she will say “piece of cake”.
Her friend keeps telling her that she’s a goob. Whenever she’s hungry, she babbles, fifteen minutes later she loses her hunger. She tells her best friend “Nobody’s perfect, we’re not perfect. Everyone’s a goob, I'm just the rare kind of goob”
She’s having this trouble appraising why did she say "yes" to someone. She wishes the answer is that simple, but she hasn’t been in love for long; she forgets what it’s like to be loved. Maybe that’s why she feels guilty a lot, because she afraid to lose someone who she cares about. She’s been playing it safe all along.
She’s average! Well, she thinks it’s true, even though sometimes she thinks she’s outstanding. Her life is like a rotating wheel, up and down every single time. Sometimes she’s at the top, and sometimes she’s at the bottom, however, that’s life! She prefers knowledge way better than grades. She chooses understanding much more than memorizing, and of course she picks remembering more than just knowing. She complains a lot sometimes, but then five minutes later she’s wondering “What was I complaining about?” Her life’s complicated! People might see her as a wealthy girl who can have everything she wants, but she’s not. You might see her life as a paradise but it really is not. She works hard to get what she wants (at least that’s what she thinks) She had to be at the top of the class so she can get her first cell-phone, by the next semester she fell to the third place, her father took her cell-phone back. By the time she reached the top again, she won her cell-phone back. Life’s hard but fair…so far.
She’s clumsy, yes it’s true…she admits it. Not to mention, she trips a lot, perhaps, for some people, falling down is the most embarrassing moment you could ever had, in contrast, for her, falling down is another chance to find the way up, learning to stand up all over again.
There’s so many things stay-hidden underneath her, she just never had the guts to let it out. Perhaps, she doesn’t have to let it out, some things are better if it stays hidden until it’s ready to burst out. It’s all based on how you dig the mud and how you solve the puzzle. If you ask her who she is, she probably can never answer that, because she has no idea. Well, the bottom line, it doesn’t matter who you are. “It’s not who you are underneath, it’s what you do that divines you” That quote was never right for her. The most important thing is who you are deep down inside. Do whatever you want, but let your ‘underneath’ guides you. It might take a while to figure out what this writing really means but eventually you’ll understand.
from: here
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